Today was hard. Emotionally draining. I didn't realize how holding back tears can make you so tired. I've cried a lot about Melinda. Not tears for her, because she's in a much better place, but for her family. Her dear sweet husband, Mark. He has been with her for so long. He stayed by her side through the breast cancer and recovery. And he didn't leave her side for the three weeks she was in ICU. I've cried for her kids. For Marli, who's Mommy won't be there to send her off to prom, to see her get married and have her own babies. For Marcus, who's Mommy won't be there on the first day of Kindergarten, or when he goes on his first date, or graduates. For Manning, who's Mommy won't be there when he plays in his first soccer game and scores his first goal, or to hold his hand when he's scared to go to school, or when he brings home his first girlfriend. I'm so sad that Melinda won't be there for all of these milestone moments. I'm sad for Melinda's parents. They just lost a child. How terribly sad for them. For her twin brother, Mike. Their birthday in November is going to be very hard on him. And for her friends. I know everyone is hurting and is going to miss her so much.

Her funeral was beautiful. Rusty did such a good job. There were moments of tears and moments of laughter. I was doing good until I saw her soccer shoes on her casket. And anytime Rusty mentioned her kids, well, that just did me in. I sang at the beginning of the funeral with a group of people from church. We sang a song called Be not Afraid. There is a part of the song that says, "Blest are you that weep and mourn, for one day you shall laugh". I know Melinda is in heaven laughing that sweet laugh of hers right now. There was a video of Melinda and all different pictures of her and her family. The first song that was played was This Little Light of Mine. It was so sweet because it was her daughter, Marli and two other little girls singing it. That was the most emotional I've ever gotten hearing This Little Light of Mine.

It is amazing how music and lyrics affect me. I had posted a utube video of Mark and Melinda here a few days ago. My friend, Pam had put that together. The song playing is Praise you in this Storm, by Casting Crowns. The words to that are amazing. Too many times, we just sing the song and don't listen to the words. If we would just stop, listen and feel, I know music would affect more people.

Today, after the graveside service, Russ and I got in the car. The song playing was Time of Your Life by Green Day. The first verse of that song says: "Another turning point a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go. So make the best of this test and don't ask why. It's not a question but a lesson learned in time. It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life." The last two sentences is right when we turned on the car. This was something unpredictable, and I know Melinda did have the time of her life.

Melinda was a wonderful wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. She LIVED life! She didn't sit back and wait for it to happen to her. I'm so happy that she was like this. I want to be more like this. Why do we put things off? Why do we say, "Oh, I'll do it tomorrow." We don't know what tomorrow brings. We need to live now, like Melinda.

On one last note. Our church family is awesome. There are so many people who truly, genuinely loved Melinda. We are going to be there to support Mark and the kids for a long time. I'm sure Mark has felt us all lifting him up, praying to God to help him get through this. I know there have been so many others not at Alameda praying for him too, but I have witnessed firsthand, the love at our church. I am so proud to be just a small part of this wonderful group. I am so glad that my kids, and Melinda's, will grow up with the love and support of the people there. This is an investment that I will never regret. I can't imagine not having a church family. If anyone reading this, doesn't have a church family, I would highly suggest finding one. Why wait? Don't put it off anymore. You don't know what lies around the corner for you. I pray you all have a church as great as mine. And if you ever want to visit my awesome church, I'd be happy for you to sit with me!