Becca started her little 2 year old school this week. Doesn't she look cute in her backpack? She only needs a backpack because 1. big sister has one and 2. she has to have extra clothes for any accidents that may happen. And that is VERY likely to happen. In fact, I had just told someone a few days ago that I can actually say, Becca is potty trained. She had been doing great. No accidents for weeks. She still wears a pull-up at nap time and bed time, but other than that, she has done great! Until yesterday... I had to work at church in the assistance office. Becca gets to come with me, which is usually not too bad. Until she looks at you and says, "Mommy I just peepeed all over the floor." Boy did she! I could not believe it! We still had people coming in for assistance and Becca strips down to nothing but her shirt. She stands behind the desk just waiting for me to help her. I was running between her and out to give someone an application for food assistance and the bathroom to get as many paper towels as possible. I was exhausted by the end of it all. I did get it all cleaned up for any of you who may go into those offices. So don't worry! :)

Grocery shopping with kids

So, shopping with a two year old. Not fun. In fact, I HATE going to WalMart with the girls. I'm so excited that Becca is starting her little school this week. So two mornings a week, I will have to myself and I can go to WalMart and not be totally stressed out! Maddie is the child that wants to run around and look at everything. Becca is like herding cats. She is so stinkin' slow! I can't get her to move for anything! She's slow getting into the car, out of the car, getting dressed, eating breakfast, or even going to the bathroom. She's almost completely potty trained. But she'll tell us, "I have to go peepee!". "Yeah! Run Becca!" She will slowly walk to the bathroom, look around at a few things on the way there, and get there in her own sweet time. So imagine trying to get one child to stop running away to look at things and the other to just move out of the way to get your cart through an isle. Now, I know I don't have it as bad as some moms. My girls are actually very well behaved, but that doesn't make shopping with them any more fun. I've attached one of the funniest things I've read in a while. It's about a mom who was selling some Pokemon cards on Ebay. You will laugh so hard, and then realize, shopping with my kids is really not all that bad compared to her!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=130144061675&ru=http%25

Today was hard. Emotionally draining. I didn't realize how holding back tears can make you so tired. I've cried a lot about Melinda. Not tears for her, because she's in a much better place, but for her family. Her dear sweet husband, Mark. He has been with her for so long. He stayed by her side through the breast cancer and recovery. And he didn't leave her side for the three weeks she was in ICU. I've cried for her kids. For Marli, who's Mommy won't be there to send her off to prom, to see her get married and have her own babies. For Marcus, who's Mommy won't be there on the first day of Kindergarten, or when he goes on his first date, or graduates. For Manning, who's Mommy won't be there when he plays in his first soccer game and scores his first goal, or to hold his hand when he's scared to go to school, or when he brings home his first girlfriend. I'm so sad that Melinda won't be there for all of these milestone moments. I'm sad for Melinda's parents. They just lost a child. How terribly sad for them. For her twin brother, Mike. Their birthday in November is going to be very hard on him. And for her friends. I know everyone is hurting and is going to miss her so much.

Her funeral was beautiful. Rusty did such a good job. There were moments of tears and moments of laughter. I was doing good until I saw her soccer shoes on her casket. And anytime Rusty mentioned her kids, well, that just did me in. I sang at the beginning of the funeral with a group of people from church. We sang a song called Be not Afraid. There is a part of the song that says, "Blest are you that weep and mourn, for one day you shall laugh". I know Melinda is in heaven laughing that sweet laugh of hers right now. There was a video of Melinda and all different pictures of her and her family. The first song that was played was This Little Light of Mine. It was so sweet because it was her daughter, Marli and two other little girls singing it. That was the most emotional I've ever gotten hearing This Little Light of Mine.

It is amazing how music and lyrics affect me. I had posted a utube video of Mark and Melinda here a few days ago. My friend, Pam had put that together. The song playing is Praise you in this Storm, by Casting Crowns. The words to that are amazing. Too many times, we just sing the song and don't listen to the words. If we would just stop, listen and feel, I know music would affect more people.

Today, after the graveside service, Russ and I got in the car. The song playing was Time of Your Life by Green Day. The first verse of that song says: "Another turning point a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go. So make the best of this test and don't ask why. It's not a question but a lesson learned in time. It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life." The last two sentences is right when we turned on the car. This was something unpredictable, and I know Melinda did have the time of her life.

Melinda was a wonderful wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. She LIVED life! She didn't sit back and wait for it to happen to her. I'm so happy that she was like this. I want to be more like this. Why do we put things off? Why do we say, "Oh, I'll do it tomorrow." We don't know what tomorrow brings. We need to live now, like Melinda.

On one last note. Our church family is awesome. There are so many people who truly, genuinely loved Melinda. We are going to be there to support Mark and the kids for a long time. I'm sure Mark has felt us all lifting him up, praying to God to help him get through this. I know there have been so many others not at Alameda praying for him too, but I have witnessed firsthand, the love at our church. I am so proud to be just a small part of this wonderful group. I am so glad that my kids, and Melinda's, will grow up with the love and support of the people there. This is an investment that I will never regret. I can't imagine not having a church family. If anyone reading this, doesn't have a church family, I would highly suggest finding one. Why wait? Don't put it off anymore. You don't know what lies around the corner for you. I pray you all have a church as great as mine. And if you ever want to visit my awesome church, I'd be happy for you to sit with me!

Maddie's First Day of School

Today is a very exciting day for us. Maddie started Kindergarten! She was so excited to go. As were we. Plus, it is Russ' birthday. Maddie was excited she got to start school on Daddy's birthday.

But there is a cloud hanging over me too. Knowing that Marcus and Manning will never have their mommy to take them to their first day of Kindergarten makes me so sad. I just can't stop thinking about Melinda and her family. I keep hearing her voice and her laugh. She had the biggest smile. I am so blessed to have known this special lady. Her funeral is going to be on Wednesday at church. What a sad day that will be. I just keep praying for Mark and the kids. That's all I can really do at this point.

But Maddie had a great first day as a Kindergartener. She really likes her teacher. She got to go to music and play in the gym. She even liked lunch. Remember the days when we got a school lunch and you had NO choices? Well, the lunch menu said Beefy Mac for lunch. We were going to make her try it. Well, she gets home and said there were choices. So she chose pizza. Interesting. So I looked at the lunch menu. Each day they have something listed, but then below it are 3-4 different choices if you don't like the main thing. So I hope she doesn't choose pizza or chicken nuggets every day.

Becca didn't quite understand why she didn't get to stay with Maddie. It was almost like she was nervous for Maddie to be at school without her. But she walked out with Russ and I and then said, "Where's Maddie?".

She asked me later why Maddie wasn't with us in the car. I had to explain to her that Maddie stayed at school all day now. Becca then said, "Oh my goodness, that is so exciting!"

Anyway, it was a great first day and she loved it. She made lots of new friends and even had a good bus ride home.

Breast Cancer

Melinda's Story

My friend, Melinda, died earlier today. She was only 31. She had been fighting breast cancer, but had been doing much better. She went in for reconstructive surgery and things just went from bad to worse. They put her on a ventilator, then her kidneys failed, then her liver. They took her in to do a liver biopsy and that's when her heart stopped. She has 3 sweet and beautiful kids at home. Marli, who is 6 and in first grade. Marcus, who's 4 and Manning who is 1 1/2. My heart just breaks for them and for her husband, Mark. They were high school sweethearts who just celebrated their 10th anniversary a few short weeks ago.

We had a prayer service at church tonight. It was so sad. We all have been touched by Melinda being in our lives. She was such a genuine, loving person. She called me just 2 days before her last surgery to check on me. Me! I even said to her, "Melinda, you are having surgery in two days and you're thinking of me?" She just wanted to be sure I was doing o.k. after having my miscarriage. She had miscarried twins just over 2 years ago. So she wanted to be sure I had someone to talk to who had been there. Melinda was so great like this.

The picture here is of a bunch of us at Race for a Cure last October. We all ran for her and for those at our church who had also fought breast cancer. Running this year will have a totally different meaning.

This song keeps running through my head: Casting Crowns - Praise You In This Storm From the album Lifesong

I was sure by now God You would have reached down And wiped our tears away Stepped in and saved the day But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining As the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain “I’m with you” And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives And takes away Chorus:I’ll praise You in this storm And I will lift my hands For You are who You are No matter where I am Every tear I’ve cried You hold in Your hand You never left my side And though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm I remember when I stumbled in the wind You heard my cry You raised me up again My strength is almost gone How can I carry on If I can’t find You As the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain “I’m with you” And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives And takes away Chorus:(2x’s) I lift my eyes unto the hills Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord The maker of Heaven and Earth Chorus:

I will miss you Melinda. Thank you for your friendship over the past 10 years and how you have touched my life.

So I've had a headache all day. I think it's from the last two nights of getting up with the girls. Plus, I've been getting up earlier than normal to watch Jenna and Lindsey. But it's good training for next week when school starts and I've got to be out the door at 7:45 every day with both girls. The girls have all had so much fun together. It has been a nice break for me. We ventured out and went to the splash pad this morning. We had a picnic lunch at the park too. After all of this, we went to Braum's and the girls all agreed on a gallon of cookie dough ice cream. Not that I needed any. But it did sound good.

Tomorrow is Friday! Yeah! I love it when the weekend comes. Mainly so the girls can play with Russ. Becca especially is always asking for him during the week, so she gets really excited when Daddy is around to play with.

Anyway, better get to cleaning! It's never ending here. I came into the study about 20 minutes ago and the living room was clean. Then just before I got on here to type, I got a drink of water and the living room looks like a tornado came through it! Puzzle pieces everywhere! Dress up clothes all over the place! Ugh! I need a maid, and a chef, and a personal trainer. Got to go, I need to go get a lottery ticket.

So today is my first post as a blogger. I've never really gotten in to this because I thought it was a waste of time and energy. But here I am, blogging. Is that what you call it? Who knows. Anyway, I thought it would be nice to have a blog that my family could check out since Maddie is starting Kindergarten on Monday. I'll have to set up some pictures on here somehow. It will probably take me a while to get this going, but I'll get it. Maybe.