Ultrasound

I had an ultrasound yesterday and everything looks good. Thank you so much for all of your thoughts and prayers! They said the baby is fine. It is right where it should be with size and all (I'm 12 weeks). The heart rate was 168. They say a fast heart rate means a girl, so I have been teasing Russ that it's another girl. We are going to wait until it's born to find out though. At my 7 week ultrasound they found that I had two hematomas behind the placenta. My body has reabsorbed one of them. The other is still there, but hasn't gotten any bigger, so that is good. My Dr. thinks it should reabsorb by the next time I see her.

Russ was out of town on business, so he didn't get to be there for the ultrasound, but my parents did. They had gone to Texas to check on my grandma. She had been in the hospital for 3 weeks with diabetes related problems, heart problems and they found a cancerous cyst on her ovary. Then she got pneumonia. She just got out on Monday, so things are looking up (for a while). But my parents drove back to my house on Tuesday so they could go with me on Wednesday. It was great having them there. I think Dad was more excited than anyone. He had never seen anything quite like that. It was pretty cool. Plus, now my doctors office has a big screen tv to watch the ultrasound on. No more cranking your neck around to see the little tv the ultrasound tech looks at. So that was cool to see the baby up on a big screen.

Anyway, thanks again for your prayers! God is good!!

Jessi's blog

I just want to direct all of you to Jessi's blog. She is hurting right now and needs prayers for her friend and her friend's newborn baby. Please read her last two posts and say a prayer for them.

After reading Jessi's blog, I immediately pulled off of my shelf the book, Where is God When it Hurts? by Philip Yancey. I read this book for a Philosophy class in college. It is a fantastic book that helps answer so many questions about pain and suffering.

The following are a few quotes that I had highlighted in college that mean so much more to me now. I think you have to go through some pain and suffering to really understand how much God loves us.

"Pain is not an afterthought, or God's great goof. Pain is essential to a normal life... Without pain, our lives would be fraught with danger, and devoid of many basic pleasures."

"Suffering calls our most basic beliefs about God into question. When it strikes, I cannot help wondering: what is God trying to tell me?"

"A human tragedy, can be used to display God's work. But in every case, suffering offers an opportunity for us to display God's work."

"Romans 5:3-5 breaks down the process into stages: 'We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.' Quite simply, a quality like perseverance will only develop in the midst of trying circumstances. Thank about it: a person who always gets what he or she wants has no chance to learn perseverance, or patience. Suffering can be one of the tools to help fashion those good qualities."

"At the instant of pain, it may seem impossible to imagine that good can come from tragedy. (It must have seemed so to Christ at Gethsemane.) We never know in advance exactly how suffering can be transformed into a cause for celebration. But that is what we are asked to believe. Faith means believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse."

"In some incomprehensible way, because of Jesus, God hears our cries differently. The author of Hebrews marvels that whatever we are going through, God has himself gone through. 'For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet was without sin' (4:15)."

If anyone wants to borrow this book (highlights and all) just let me know. It really does help you understand where God is throughout your hurting.

42 things you really don't care to know about me

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Not that I know of
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Yesterday- I'm pregnant, I'm emotional!
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I used to. Not so much anymore.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Turkey
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 2 beautiful girls
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yep!
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Who me? Never.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Tonsils, yes, Appendix, no.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Before I had kids- heck yeah! Now, no way.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Fruit Loops
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? It depends on how tight they are on.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? It depends on the situation.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? chocolate with marshmallow or peanut butter. But I'm lactose intolerant, so I only eat it when I am ready to deal with some pain.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? If they seem happy, and their confidence.
15. RED OR PINK? Red.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I'm one of the most stubborn people I know, and I like to be right (just ask my husband).
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My Poppy George
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? black pants, tan fuzzy slippers.
19.. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Barbie gummies. Nutritious, I know.
20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Maddie watching a movie.
21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? red.
22. FAVORITE SMELLS? I love it when the yard guy comes and sprays fertilizer. I also love the smell of a good men's cologne.
23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My dad.
24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Football
25. HAIR COLOR? reddish brown
26. EYE COLOR? Blue
27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? no
28. FAVORITE FOOD? When I'm not pregnant- Mexican.
29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Before kids- scary movies. Not anymore though!
30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Ella Enchanted
31. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Purple paisley
32. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer. Why do you think we moved out of Iowa?
33. HUGS OR KISSES? I'm not really a hugger. And I don't want kisses from anyone but my girls and my husband. So I guess I'm neither.
34. FAVORITE DESSERT? Anything chocolate.
35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I wish I was reading a book right now. I can't even catch up on my magazines. Any recommendations?
36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Nothing. We're boring, I know.
37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? The Biggest Loser (I love that show!)
38. FAVORITE SOUND? a baby laughing
39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Rolling Stones
40. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Germany.
41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I can sing the alphabet backwards. You just wish you could do it!
42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Illinois

Justice

How many times have you been driving and you see somebody do something completely idiotic and you just WISH there was a policeman around to see it? Well, my wish came true yesterday.

I was driving to a baby shower, and I had called my mom on my cell on the way there. I was on a 4 lane road, driving in the left lane because I was about to turn left. I look up and all of a sudden this idiot comes racing up behind me in a huge truck with his emergency flashers on. Well, I couldn't get over to the right because there was a car there and I was about to the turning lane, so I just stayed where I was and got in the turning lane as soon as I could.

I was close to the hospital, so I even had a little sympathy for him (for like a second) and thought maybe he was in a hurry to get to there. We get up to the light (it's red) and he rolls down his window and yells at me. I was driving Russ' car and had the sunroof open so I got to hear it all. He said, "Get off the phone and drive you idiot!". Now I don't like being yelled at. Especially when I have done nothing wrong. I didn't pull out in front of him. I wasn't going 10 mph, I did everything I could to get out of his way. So nice little me, yelled back. Remember, I was talking to my mom on the phone. All I said was, "OH, SHUT-UP!" He then rolled up his window and sat at the light VERY impatiently. (My mom was very curious to why I was yelling at her. So I had to explain the story to her too.)

Well, he just couldn't wait any longer. He took off, right through the red light and a very busy intersection. I even cringed when I saw him take off. I thought I was going to witness an accident. But instead, a policeman just happened to be crossing paths with him. In fact, if the police man would have been there 2 seconds earlier, he probably could have side-swiped him. It was awesome! He turned and chased him lights on and everything. He did turn into the hospital, which made me feel a little bad for him. But I was so happy that he got what was coming to him.

Lesson learned: Be patient. And be sure there are no police cars around when you "have" to run a red light.

My due date

Yesterday, January 6, was my due date. I thought about it all last week. I knew it was coming, but there was no way to stop it from happening. So it was kind of a bummer of a day.

For those that didn't know, I had a miscarriage on June 29th. It was the day I turned 13 weeks. We had gone to Iowa when I was 10 weeks and told everyone that I was pregnant. About that same time, I lost pregnancy symptoms. I thought it was weird since I was extremely sick with both of the girls (until 20 and 21 weeks). But we joked that this time it was a boy. Then at 12 weeks, I started bleeding. Now that is something that can completely freak you out when you are pregnant. With both of the girls, besides being sick, I had very uneventful pregnancies. So when this happened, I was really scared. We did blood work right away and my numbers weren't going up anymore. They did an ultrasound and saw a malformed sac. They said the baby had stopped growing between 6 and 7 weeks. So why did my body carry it for another 6 weeks? I couldn't understand this. I was sad. I was angry.

I did a lot of praying that week. I prayed a lot for understanding. Why was this happening to me? As soon as I found out I was to have a d&c, I called a few of my friends who had also gone through a miscarriage. And I called Melinda. She had lost twins about a year and a half before me. I needed to talk to someone who understood what I was going through. She was great. I remember her saying, "It's o.k. to be mad! I'm mad with you! If you want to kick the walls, I'll be right beside you kicking them, because this sucks!"

It hit me really hard the week of VBS. That was 3 weeks after the d&c. I found out at VBS that 4 people I knew from church were pregnant. Melinda saw the look on my face when I found out about one friend, and pulled me aside. She just hugged me and promised that it WOULD get better and she would be there to listen anytime I needed to talk about it.

Two days before her surgery, she called me to be sure I was o.k. Here she was, going in for surgery, and she was thinking of me. What an amazing friend.

So I look back on it now and I thank God that this happened to me. See, Melinda and I used to be really good friends. When I first started staying home with Maddie, I think I talked to her every other day for advice on parenting and how to survive. But as friendships do, we got busy with our own lives and we slowly stopped talking as much. And eventually, we became just church friends who only saw each other and talked at church. So I actually feel blessed to have reconnected with Melinda before she died. It really reminded me that she was this amazing friend that I was so lucky to have in my life for 10 years.

I'll save my miscarriage advice for another blog since this one turned out longer than I originally thought. But just know that I am fine now. I know that God wanted me to go through it. If not to reconnect with Melinda, then maybe to help someone else go through it. I can't tell you how much it meant to me to talk to my friends who had been there. Maybe I went through it to help one of my daughters go through it someday. And if that's the case, I'm glad it happened to me.

Another thing that does make it a little easier for me is that I'm pregnant now. I admit that I prayed a lot about being pregnant before my due date came. I knew that January 6th would be hard, but being pregnant sure made it a lot easier. I'm due August 6th. Seven months to the day later. I am 10 weeks today. So pretty nervous. This is when I lost pregnancy symptoms before. But my doctor has been great. We've all ready had blood work. We've even done an ultrasound. We saw the heartbeat. So far, so good. We'll do another ultrasound in 2 weeks, just to be sure. But until then, please pray for the baby and for me to not worry so much! Oh, and Russ would throw in, pray that it's a boy! ;) He doesn't think he can live in a house with four redheaded women.

Happy New Year

2008! I really only have one major resolution this year. To be more organized. I blame it all on not enough storage, but really, it's too much stuff!! I feel like my house is bursting at the seams. I feel guilty about "complaining" that I have too much stuff. There are so many people in this world who would love to be in my shoes (all 40 pairs of them). But I'm tired of it.

So I need help. For my 30th birthday, my friend, Cindy came and organized me. It was great. I have containers with labels and got rid of a bunch of stuff. But it's been 2 1/2 years and I think I need her again. She is so organized with everything. From books, to toys, to scrapbook junk and her clothes. She had her mother buy her 100 wooden hangers for Christmas a few years ago. So now, if she ever gets a new piece of clothing, she makes herself get rid of one. Same with her shoes. She has a certain place for each of her shoes, so if she buys new ones, out the door with an old pair. Why can't I be more like this?

My biggest problem is the girls' toys. What do you all do with your kids' toys? I don't like the idea of boxing some up and changing them out. First of all, I have no where to put the boxed up ones. Second of all, too much work.

And books. Since I was a first grade teacher, I have a million kids books. I have a 7 foot tall book shelf FULL of books. And this doesn't include the seasonal books that I bring out for each holiday. Those are kept at the top of their closet.

Maybe I should just have a big 'ol garage sale. But those are so much stinkin' work with such little pay out.

I'll keep you all updated on any neat ideas I get for storage solutions. Please let me know if you have any!!! :)

Here are a few photos from Christmas and Becca's 3rd birthday (and all of the new stuff I have to find a place for).

The white t-shirt behind Maddie says "Southern girls know their primary colors" and has an Iowa Hawkeye under it. Cute, huh?

There was a ton of snow in Iowa. The girls were so excited to play in it. Poor little southern girls. No snow pants or real snow boots. But they survived.